Posts
Last week a friend of mine lost his friend. This, I later found out, was a friend with whom he fought side by side beating their addiction. I wasn’t around when the news broke, but our mutual friend was there. She said his face went pale and his low tone of voice —much lower than his usual low— signified he was sadder than saddest. It took him only few minutes to “pull himself together” and be his usual self, one who cracks comedy and humour as a mean to save himself from being grey (a color of state of which I sadly suspect is his true usual self).
Of all the total differences between us[1], there was a tiny bit of similarity. We are both learning to write, only his is mostly poetry (something I have no idea how to compose). Finding out his comic side requires no genius. He picked simple words, simple themes, wrapped them with muse and carefully hid his deep contemplations. Sometimes I sense that he hides from contemplation itself. When around him, joke is all around and love is all vapour (few would realize that he is waiting for one). The joke part is what clicks him and me in the first place.
The poems he uploaded are always automatically forwarded to my email. His poem, one of which last night landed on my email account, was a praise and farewell wish for his just-last-week belated friend. He wrote his pride, sadness, and fear all in unbelievably short 22 lines. It’s the first time I read him being honest to himself. It’s the first time I read he wrote something with a complete ending (his poems usually stops as he begins wandering around).
It’s funny how the death of a meaningful person can complete your full thoughts. I remember showing the ‘our mutual friend’ the only writing I love, the one about my dead ‘cousin’. I love it because it ended as my thought ended, unlike all others that ended while my thoughts still seemed to scatter. She said it was because I’ve thought about it for long and the death made it easier for me to skip my speculations of what would happen to us, so that I could go straight to summarizing what and how she meant for me. I think the same happened to Go. He finally finished his thought of the matter. I don’t know whether it’s because he is finally able to do it, or he finally let himself do it. Either way, as I once felt relief of the mind-release, I’m truly glad he did.
As I said earlier, there seems to be a scaleful of sadness in him. Our mutual friend even expressed it as fire-less. The death of his friend seemed to make it worse. Ironically, every sign charts says I’m all fire —fire Arian (is it not enough that Aries is represented by Mars —The God of War?), and a fire dragon (it’s enough I am a dragon. I have to be a fiery one, too?). I don’t know if such chart is true. If so, I don’t know if it’s logo fire (a shining light) or hell fire. I don’t wish to burn him, but if it is logo, please have much of mine.
-----
Of all the total differences between us[1], there was a tiny bit of similarity. We are both learning to write, only his is mostly poetry (something I have no idea how to compose). Finding out his comic side requires no genius. He picked simple words, simple themes, wrapped them with muse and carefully hid his deep contemplations. Sometimes I sense that he hides from contemplation itself. When around him, joke is all around and love is all vapour (few would realize that he is waiting for one). The joke part is what clicks him and me in the first place.
The poems he uploaded are always automatically forwarded to my email. His poem, one of which last night landed on my email account, was a praise and farewell wish for his just-last-week belated friend. He wrote his pride, sadness, and fear all in unbelievably short 22 lines. It’s the first time I read him being honest to himself. It’s the first time I read he wrote something with a complete ending (his poems usually stops as he begins wandering around).
It’s funny how the death of a meaningful person can complete your full thoughts. I remember showing the ‘our mutual friend’ the only writing I love, the one about my dead ‘cousin’. I love it because it ended as my thought ended, unlike all others that ended while my thoughts still seemed to scatter. She said it was because I’ve thought about it for long and the death made it easier for me to skip my speculations of what would happen to us, so that I could go straight to summarizing what and how she meant for me. I think the same happened to Go. He finally finished his thought of the matter. I don’t know whether it’s because he is finally able to do it, or he finally let himself do it. Either way, as I once felt relief of the mind-release, I’m truly glad he did.
As I said earlier, there seems to be a scaleful of sadness in him. Our mutual friend even expressed it as fire-less. The death of his friend seemed to make it worse. Ironically, every sign charts says I’m all fire —fire Arian (is it not enough that Aries is represented by Mars —The God of War?), and a fire dragon (it’s enough I am a dragon. I have to be a fiery one, too?). I don’t know if such chart is true. If so, I don’t know if it’s logo fire (a shining light) or hell fire. I don’t wish to burn him, but if it is logo, please have much of mine.
-----
[1] We’re both shower freak: that means he takes shower frequently while mostly I avoid any. He’s a fashion bank while my daily costumes is as good as uniforms. He speaks eloquantly calm and short, while I do it like a train —long running and loud. Eating bread, he loves the white-middle part and leaves the delicious crust to me.
No comments:
Post a Comment