Let It Be True

When I was 5, a girl came to me asking my name —hers was Lutfi. I think we were close after that. I met this cousin of mine once a year at our family gathering. I pictured her fast, smart, strong, not only unlike any girl, but boys too (me included). When we were 10 it felt weird playing together. We never play, not even talk, ever since. That I regret very much.

Her mom, Andung Erka, always treated me as a friend. We talked cassually. Even though I never knew Fi in person, I was well kept posted. Most of the times she talked about how proud she was of Fi: when she went to college, when she took flying lessons, when she got her first job, when she got married. I know that Fi grew up stronger and smarter every day. She literaly defeated boys on daily basis.

Two years ago she got divorced. Several months ago I met her son. A four-year-old as strong and smart as I remember Fi was. I can see where he got that from. Not more than a year ago, Fi remarried. Eight months ago, she got pregnant. Two nights ago, my dad called me —Fi was hospitalized. The next morning Fi died, but the child survived. Everything happened faster than fastest.

I don’t understand how someone so great, smart, and strong died so soon. I read that when a mom dies delivering her baby, she goes directly to heaven. A syuhadan. I don’t pray much, but I hope this one is heard and granted. Let that reading be true.

PS: Five years ago, I found out that Fi isn’t my cousin, my auntie instead.